Assign Words to Describe Faces and Feelings
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Choose from these words:
Ambivalent Worried Confused Nervous Unsure Anxious Irritable Relieved Content Happy Calm Glad
Surprised Joking Humorous Mischievous Adoring Angelic
Caring Affectionate Lonely Shy Abandoned Excited
Friendly Disappointed Sorrowful Amazed Pleasant Fascinated
Angry Jealous Guilty Fear Annoyed Agitated
Pleasing Pacify Unworthy Nervous Disconnected Confused
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Strong Emotions and Feelings That Create Mood Swings
Anger
Anger is a necessary emotion that informs us of changes. learning to manage anger and not become explosive or violent is important. There are times when anger is appropriate and can keep us safe. Anger can be used to advocate for changes in policy at city, state, or federal levels. Anger can motivate people to fight or stand up for a cause. Anger can be transformed into inspirational activities, parks, or events that benefit society.
Different Ways to Express Anger
There are different ways to express anger. Noticing how you express it helps us realize what potential energy you can harness from this intense emotion. When practicing mindfulness, participants learned that observing how you act when angry is part of self-understanding.
Hold It In
Group therapy participants talked about being afraid to express anger. Some participants were told by their family or culture not to express it. These participants held it inside. The group discussed how to bottle it up and related to early childhood trauma and fear. After discussing how anger can be transformed, they became curious about it as a motivator for change.
Explosive Anger
Other participants talked about past trauma memories and how family members or partners exploded and were violent. Throwing things, pushing, hitting people, and yelling insults at others will cause more trouble than you realize. People will avoid you because of your aggressive manner. Bullying can be part of this with abusive behaviors and words. Eventually, a bully loses friends because people notice their overly-dominant mannerisms.
Assertiveness
Other participants were comfortable expressing their anger with words. Participants identified feelings, and thoughts, and practiced being assertive. The participants discussed how they slowed down, took several deep breaths, and discussed the issue with another person. The group discussed how to express anger safely using “I” statements.
I Statements
I feel ________________________ when (you or they) _____________________________________________________________.
It would be better if (you or they) could do _____________________ the next time this happens.
Try to practice identifying your emotions and feelings first. Then notice the thoughts that come with it. Take deep breaths and think about how to put this into words.
Write it below.
I feel _________________________________ when ___________________________ happens.
I would like it if ________________________ so that we can _______________.
Embarrassment
Group therapy participants listened to stories and realized that not all participants were talkative and tended to be shyer in social situations. Shyness, or being quiet can come from fearfulness and a participant talked about being afraid of going to a family birthday party. fear came with embarrassment and the belief that they would be judged and insulted. Participants went to the party and realized that they did not get judged or felt insulted and the strong embarrassment feeling caused the trouble, not the actual party. This strong emotion is related to the cognitive distortion of “emotional reasoning.”
I feel embarrassed to talk to new people, therefore they must think I am stupid.
I feel embarrassed in social situations because I am shy, and people will think I am weird.
I feel embarrassed in social situations because I don’t do small talk, so I avoid all social situations.
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Jealousy
Jealousy is an intense emotion and can create strong moods. It can be difficult to disengage from this feeling. Understanding where it began may help diffuse the jealous thoughts. Usually, childhood situations initiate traumatic thoughts. Participants discussed how they felt left out or not noticed for their hard work and achievements. These feelings can linger and bring harsh feelings to a relationship. Friendships or relationships are not possible when someone is jealous. It gets in the way of communication. The jealousy can be caused by paranoia.
Group therapy participants talked about jealousy and relationships. The group discussed how a partner was jealous of everything and became more controlling of activities, choices of friends, and spending money. The group discussed equality in relationships and dominance and questioned what type of relationship the participant wanted. They pointed out the abuse pattern. This helped the participant realize the situation and seek help for it. They decided to do couples counseling. The group also discussed delusions and paranoia and how to recognize that the partner could have a mental illness.
Questions for jealousy
Situation that causes jealousy: _____________________________________________________________
My reaction to it: _____________________________________________________________
How does this affect my relationship with _____________________________________________________________
Is this related to an early childhood situation?
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A Trigger for Bad Moods:
It started from: __________________________________________________
(A conversation, a nightmare or flashback, a trigger from a conversation, image, sensation, story from TV, a movie, a song, a place, a person who looked like… a scene …)
What I notice when observing thoughts__________________________________
Moods can affect thoughts and take over for hours or a day.
Mood that was trouble______________________________________________
Feelings that I had during the time I experienced that mood ____________________
Negative Thoughts: _____________________________________________________________
As a result of strong feelings, a person will avoid places or people that cause distress. This is called Safety Behaviors, and Experiential Avoidance. These behaviors are explained in the Distress Reaction Response. These behaviors temporarily fix the situation, such as staying home because of a panic attack experienced at the mall, or a social event. The safety behaviors can also hold you prisoner in your own home. Participants talked about fears of social events and avoiding them to the point that the family wondered why they had not left their home for months.
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