The Mindfulness Response was developed within a group therapy format. Conversations about managing symptoms of serious mental illness and developing skills to build concentration involved self-compassion concepts and many therapy skills.
The group discussed this poem about a person's progress in treatment. The participants related it to their struggles. They discussed how they had problems with low motivation and difficulties making changes in their lives. With support from others in the group, they were encouraged to challenge their low energy and push themselves to make new routines and form new habits.
There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson (1988)
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit but,
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Common Humanity vs. Isolation
The group discussed the self-compassion concept of “common humanity,” and how other people in the world struggle, just like they do. Common humanity allows people to feel the deep despair that comes from tough emotions. In a group therapy setting, people are allowed to and are encouraged to cry to release the neurochemicals that are built up from repressing emotions. Crying helps cleanse the body of these struggles. Participants validated other members’ suffering and discussed how crying relieves tension and reorganizes our breath.
The common humanity teaches that each of us is connected to others in many ways. Mindfulness teaches how to observe, notice, and acknowledge issues and symptoms. Through self-reflection and understanding a person can choose how to respond to difficult situations (Neff 2011).
The group was reminded of common humanity when discussing stigma and shame. There were conversations about advocates for mental illness through the National Alliance of Mental Illness, which lobbies for changes to laws that improve the lives and treatment of people with mental illnesses. Education that overcomes stigma and shame begins with individuals and can be addressed in group therapy.
The Mindfulness Response considers common humanity to be an integral part of healing as it emphasizes that no one is alone. Participants talked about how they experienced the ups and downs, how they felt alone, alienated from others, and difficulty feelings. Participants recognized how others felt similar feelings. One participant told the group that they thought they were the only one in the world who had these feelings, but the other members said it was not true.
Group therapy members eventually found a common bond that held them together like an invisible safety net. Self-compassion skills help to strengthen this bond and unify each person to the common goal of healing. This bond grows stronger as each person speaks about their inner struggles and hears the other members’ responses to similar struggles. The group becomes an entity and takes on its personality.
When someone new started in the group, the older members said, “You’re in the right spot. You will get help here.” The members may think that the licensed psychotherapist is doing all the work to maintain the group’s bond, but this is mistaken. Each person brings their grievances and offers their energy to benefit the rest of the group. Each group member offers suggestions and passes their hopes and desires on to the members who come after them, until all have heard and felt the intensity of the healing suggestions.
When people leave the group therapy program and move on to other tasks in their lives, they are thankful for all that they have learned from the process and the new skills they obtained. They thank the group and are reminded that they did the hard work. They are willing to listen to others and describe their struggles. They had the skills inside themselves, they were hiding under a pile of tensions, worries, and ruminations about negative thoughts. I tell them that depression, anxiety, and psychosis create fogginess in their brains. The use of the self-compassion and CBT skills taught in the group brings them closer to recovery.
Every person understands the combination of skills differently. This sharing process of group therapy enables them to regain their skills and define them on their own terms. At this point, they develop confidence, patience, and understanding. The group members told others how they previously felt there was a fog in their brain interrupting concentration and now it seemed as if the fog had cleared. They talked about being able to move forward with longer-term goals for their lives.
The group members were questioned about their use of common humanity and used the worksheet.
Common Humanity in My Daily Life
Other people have similar situations with distress. I am not alone.
Who can I talk to for support? ________________________________________
What support groups are in my area? In-person or online support? _______________
Time and dates of support groups:
_____________________________________________________________
Nationwide there are support groups for mental health: ______________________
https://nami.org/Home National Alliance of Mental Illness
Nationwide there are support groups for drug/alcohol abuse: __________________
https://al-anon.org/ Al-Anon
The Mindfulness Response brings about this healing process from group therapy, which is the energy that is felt and not seen. The invisible safety net is formed from the process of exchanging personal information about personal struggles that helps everyone, both those who talk and those who listen. The safety net strengthens as each person releases inner tensions and struggles and replaces them with self-love, hope, and healing.
It is helpful for the group to have others with them as they progress through the healing process. Simply being present and listening to another person helps them feel valued and believe that their feelings, thoughts, images, and sensations are real, not imagined. Other people appreciate the time that you take to listen and hear their sorrow and distress. They may not tell you in words, but it can be seen with their eyes and their personal growth over weeks and months.
One participant talked about feeling better now knowing that others have depression and anxiety, and not just me. Another participant said they did not think there was a group of people who could talk about these symptoms (psychosis) like this and told the group how happy they were to hear others who have the same problem.
References
Harper Collins. ISBN: 0062079174, 9780062079176
Nelson, P. (1988). There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. Stonebarn:PA. ISBN: 9780962115905 (ISBN10: 0962115908)
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