Non-Verbal Communication and Facial Expression:
Facial expressions communicate faster than words. Pay attention to other people’s expressions and notice how some people are more expressive than others. Being able to read non-verbal communication cues is important for relationships. There are a wide variety of facial expressions.
Smiles
Smiles or laughs when talking about happy things indicate interest in the subject.
Sometimes people will smile and talk about difficult subjects. This is different from talking about pleasant activities or things. Nervousness appears when people tend to smile or laugh when talking about sad, depressing, anxious, or judgmental situations.
There were conversations in group therapy where participants experiencing paranoia talked about how they perceived a smile as being distrustful.
Eye contact:
Some cultures do not look directly at people and consider it impolite.
The US culture emphasizes direct eye contact; when people do not do this, they are considered distrustful. There are numerous expressions associated with the eyes.
Eye expression can be described as glaring, rolling your eyes indicating disagreement, or a glazed look of boredom.
Body Posture and Movement
Participants noticed movements and expressions in others. The group discussed non-verbal acts such as shaking a foot or leg, snapping a finger, covering your face, picking at your skin, your teeth, your nose, and rubbing your eyes. Actions do speak about the inner self, but the person may not be aware of what they are doing, or why they are fidgeting. What are parts of your body doing?
Giving Directions: pointing at others, hands on your hips, standing upright,
Looking directly at the other person, hand gestures, finger gestures, sighs,
Are you unconsciously moving, sitting upright, slouching, fidgeting?
Tone of Voice
Listen to yourself as you talk. You may have to record yourself to hear how you express yourself. We often do not realize when we sound crabby, terse, upset, afraid, or anxious. You may have to record yourself.
I sound pleasant, scared, angry, confident, condescending _____________________________________________________________
Practice different tones of voice when you speak to others.
Say things in a quiet voice, then a loud voice, then a moderate voice.
Which is better? _____________________________________________________________
Practice asking a question instead of giving an order
Could you do this? _____________________________________________________________
Practice using a choice of different options to accomplish a goal.
Do you want to do the dishes or do your homework? _____________________________________________________________
Are you speaking softly or loudly, rapidly, or slowly? _____________________________________________________________
Reasons for Hiding Emotions and Feelings
Hiding Emotions
Some participants hid emotions and feelings. They showed little emotion on the outside and were reluctant to participate in conversation unless asked. The group discussed how personality traits are inherited, and within research on twins in a family, one twin can have more anxiety than another about the same event. Facial expression and voice intonation can be developed in ways to demonstrate and express a wider range of expressions and used in different situations, such as public speaking or theater.
Personality:
Participants who experienced shyness, social anxiety, or other personalities that are anxious tend to avoid social situations. Some cultures do not express themselves as much as others. Participants talked about keeping family trauma a secret and not sharing it with others, or with a therapist.
Culture
Cultures around the world emphasize different behaviors in public and at home. Some cultures teach their children to hold back or refrain from expressing strong emotions. Non-verbal cues are different from East to Western cultures. Body postures and expression can vary within subcultures in the USA.
Trauma:
Trauma can cause a person to shut down, or it can cause people to yell and become violent. Others have learned that being quiet is safer than expressing anything. Trauma memories from PTSD can be overwhelming to people and they return as trauma memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. With individual therapy and discussing the traumatic memories, the flashbacks and nightmares will decrease.
Rules and Regulations:
Certain clubs, the military, school groups, sports, or religious organizations may have rules and expectations that others must obey. There are expectations to do activities, and chores, express an outside opinion, and go with the group’s decision, or the leader of the group. The groups enforce this sort of thought and idea.
Acceptance of Emotions and Feelings
Accept the feelings and emotions that you have. Acknowledge the feelings that you experience. They are real and they are part of being a human being. A feeling isn’t a bad thing.
It’s part of being a human being.
Observe and Notice
Try to identify ten other feelings that you have besides the major feeling that you have. Often there are ten more feelings underneath the one experienced. This comes with practicing mindfulness and sitting with an intense emotion. Take deep breaths and just listen to yourself. Notice any images or sensations and negative thoughts.
My feeling: _____________________________________________________________
Other feelings that I notice: _____________________________________________________________
Self-Kindness and non-judgment
Self-kindness is part of the self-compassion concepts. Swearing has an extra intensity, and it can become a trigger to yourself or others. Be aware of how you present yourself to others with your thoughts and language. Self-kindness speaks about not criticizing yourself or calling yourself names. Do not swear at yourself. It only makes you feel worse. Practice being non-judgmental with yourself first, and then try to apply it to others. If you can’t say positive things to yourself, try to say neutral things.
Try to notice where you feel sensations in your body when you have strong, intense emotions. Anxiety and panic attacks cause physical health symptoms in our entire body. From head to toe. Symptoms that group therapy members reported:
Head:
Common symptoms are loss of concentration or loss of focus. Participants reported feeling like doom was coming. Others reported blurry vision, ringing in their ears, dizziness, nausea, light-headedness, a flushed face, or experience headaches.
I felt like I was going crazy or that the world would end
Neck, shoulders, arms, hands:
Participants associated stress with the tightening of muscles in the neck shoulders, and throat. Participants notice tingling, numbing sensations, or achiness. Participants talked about coldness or hot sweats in their hands and extremities.
Throat and chest:
Participants reported a dry throat, or that they could not swallow when their muscles tightened, and they could not breathe. Participants reported that their heartbeat skips, jumps, and races. They talked about problems with trying to swallow or a pain in the throat and not being able to catch their breath.
I have pain in my chest like I am having a heart attack.
Stomach, hips:
Participants reported upset stomachs, diarrhea, or vomiting. They also talked about problems with digestion and stomach aches, but a different kind of stomach ache.
I can’t eat. My stomach hurts and it’s painful.
I feel like my stomach has butterflies in it.
My stomach is all tied up in knots.
Legs, knees, feet, toes:
Participants reported numbing, tingling, swelling, or agitation. Participants talked about feeling as if they could not move or were frozen in place.
Entire body:
Participants talked about anxiety and panic and how they suddenly felt cold or hot sensations that covered their entire bodies.
I break out in a sweat and get hot.
Emotions and Feelings: When I feel afraid, angry, jealous, happy, sad, or satisfied, where do I feel it in my body?
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