The Mindfulness Response: Homicide, Naikan Philosophy, Self-Compassion
Homicide: Naikan Philosophy, Self-Compassion: Acceptance, Mindfulness
Naikan Philosophy and Acceptance
The Naikan philosophy which focuses on gratitude was applied to those in group therapy with homicidal thoughts of wanting to harm or kill others for various reasons. The Naikan philosophy focuses on the present day and not on the past. Remind the group therapy members that the present day is more important to them than the past was one step. Reminding them that harming the other or killing them could get them placed in jail, and is that where they want to be? Discussions were personal and the group was considerate of all feelings involved.
Some reasons were:
The perpetrator had been violent and abusive to the person.
The perpetrator had taken advantage of them.
They felt resentful of the past.
They wanted revenge for the past.
I had dark thoughts.
I had angry thoughts about others.
I wanted to teach that person a lesson.
Another step that the Naikan philosophy explained was to talk about how they could influence others by becoming a mentor, an advocate, or a lobbyist or representative for others who are disadvantaged, or victims. Their voice would be stronger as they spoke openly about the injustice and abuse that they experienced. They would influence younger generations and help them avoid trauma.
This piece of information, moving from the future back to the present helped the member see how devastating the act would be. Anger can take over our feelings and thoughts and run away with us. One group member pointed out that people can get into a very dark place in their minds and not be able to see options.
Without your life on this planet, the love for your friends and pets would be weakened, so It’s your duty to continue to live. What would your friends, your nephews, and nieces, your pets do without you? Or your family?
Naikan tells the struggling person that they are not alone but are part of a larger picture. It reminds them of their value and that every day there are ways that they are connected to others. This is important for those who feel that they are at the bottom of a deep pit and can’t get out of it. Naikan offers them an alternative to their pain and suffering and helps them feel that they matter to others.
The group discussed their values and how every day there are ways that were valued by others but may have forgotten about them. Naikan offers an alternative to suffering and helps them feel that everyone matters to other people.
I was so depressed that I forgot about my friends and how they depended on me.
I didn’t answer the phone, or texts, or emails.
Naikan Philosophy
Naikan teaches us that we give and receive invisible gifts. Our presence in the room does make a difference. Our presence in the community is noticed by others in this generation and future generations.
Invisible gifts that we often overlook are felt, not seen. These are valuable to others. We give and receive these each day. Our interactions are important to ourselves, our friends, family, neighbors, and community.
Examples of Invisible Gifts________________________________________
Humor | Laughter | Belonging | Love |
Reassurance | Advice | Dependability | Empathy |
Friendship | Smiles | Reliability | Understanding |
Knowledge | Assistance | Spirituality | Tolerance |
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Things that I gave to others:
Honesty about my stress level. Friendship, encouragement, reassurance, being with someone, accepting another for who they are. Finding common ground. Realizing that others see things differently than me and that’s ok. Talking about problems and listening to another person.
I shared a meal or an experience with another person.
Other _____________________________________________________________
Things that I received from others:
Help with intense emotions and warning signs they saw. New ideas and inspiration. A second chance, comfort, compliments, positive events, communication, support, physical items, money, appreciation, gratitude, relief, empathy, help or assistance.
Other __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The consequences, changes, and results of my interactions:
I talked, texted, emailed, called a friend, family _________________and they _____________________________________________________________
I decided to seek help.
I found a support group, AA, NA, or NAMI.org group
My support person and I decided to _____________________________________________________________
Group Therapy Conversations To Gain Insight
When group therapy members report problems with homicidal thoughts, the group tries to remind them of their relationships, the things that they do, and how they are important to others. Having a person die from homicide or suicide affects the family, the neighborhood, and the community.
I am important to myself and others because:
I am: _____________________________________________________________
(a son, daughter, friend, uncle, aunt, sister, brother, grandparent, great-grandparent, co-worker, member, pet owner, mother, father, neighbor, other.) _____________________________________________________________
I help, listen, watch, sing, bike, swim, jog, volunteer, work, other _____________________________________________________________
I keep in contact with: _____________________________________________________________
My warning signs are (manic episodes, anxiety, ruminating thoughts or images, irritability)
_____________________________________________________________
I can use a crisis line, hotline in my area:
_____________________________________________________________
National suicide preventions hotline:1-800-273-8255
Emergency number: 911
Crisis Text Line: Text Hello to 741741
YouthLine: Text teen2teen to 839863, or call 1-877-968-8491
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: call or text 1-800-422-4453
LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743
LGBT Senior Hotline: 1-888-234-7243
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357, drugs & alcohol
RAINN: 1-800-656-4673, rape & incest
National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-855-812-1001
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Text "START" to 88788 or call 1-800-799-7233
Trusted Sexual Violence Resources - helpingsurvivors.org/resources/
Helping Survivors - helpingsurvivors.org
Skills for Safety: Resources
I can get education and resources at NAMI.org
I can call my provider or clinic and leave a message or talk with staff about my symptom changes.
Phone: ____________________ Email: _______________________________
Skills for Safety: Remove weapons from the home
I can talk with my therapist, psychiatrist, PCP, support person, or other about a plan to:
_____________________________________________________________
I can give my weapons to: _____________________________________________________________
Skills for Safety: Self-cares
I can make appointments to talk about these thoughts, images, and feelings with
_____________________________________________________________
I can live with someone to receive support and not live alone.
_____________________________________________________________
The group practices different ways to stay grounded and present. Some participants talk about not feeling as if they are in their bodies. One participant said it was like observing everyone and myself. The participant told the group that feelings were there but were numb and there was a feeling of nihilism and emptiness.
The group discussed ways that they felt outside of their body, or dissociated, and some participants talked about panic attacks and anxiety symptoms that can create “derealization and depersonalization.” Others talked about schizophrenia and psychosis symptoms where they feel disconnected and agreed with the feeling of emptiness.
Skills for Safety: Staying Grounded and Present
Use the five senses to stay grounded in your body, and feel more present, and calm. Practicing grounding skills helps to build concentration.
When doing mindfulness, notice the five senses:
What I hear _____________________________________________________________
What I see _____________________________________________________________
What I can touch or feel __________________________________________________________
What I can taste _____________________________________________________________
Grounding: 5-4-3-2-1
5 things that I see _____________________________________________________________
4 things that I hear _____________________________________________________________
3 things that I can touch _____________________________________________________________
2 things that I can smell _____________________________________________________________
1 thing that I can taste _____________________________________________________________
Grounding: Staying present
Describe the room with as many colors as possible.
Describe the room with as many different shapes as possible.
Describe the location of pieces of furniture, or other items.
Describe where you are in the room.
The Sensory Room
To help understand these a sensory room was used. The room had a variety of weighted blankets, shoulder wraps, bean bag chairs, rocking chairs, and gliders. The room had sound machines, lava lamps, and dim lighting, to change the environment. The use of aromatherapy helped participants learn to relax with lavender or to become more alert with peppermint. The sense of taste used different types of gum or candies with cinnamon, lemon heads, and sweet tarts to evoke strong tastes. Strong tastes brought participants back to the present moment. For touch, participants were offered fidgets and hot or cold packs. The group had different types of textures and touch such as soft blankets or pets.
The group was encouraged to create calming and soothing sensory areas at their home. They compared notes about what they had. One participant talked about using a weighted blanket, a soft blanket, and a sound app on the phone. Another participant told the group about a night light that reflected different speckles on the ceiling.
Three other senses are unfamiliar. They are used in the check-in to help participants understand how to feel grounded and are proprioception, interoception, and vestibular senses. The group discussed how they felt sitting on their chairs, having their feet on the floor, and their arms resting on the table. They described if they felt balanced or dizzy. They talked about what they felt inside of their bodies for proprioception.
Three Additional Senses
Proprioception:
Knowing and being aware of where our body is in space and how to move with it and stay upright and balanced. This sense is noticed when I carry, push, pull, walk, and move. Being able to touch your nose or knee when your eyes are closed.
Sometimes when nervous, a participant talked about bumping into things, and was encouraged to slow down, and take your time, there is no hurry in life.
Vestibular:
This sense describes the balance that we maintain as our body moves. This can be going up and down stairs, twirling, riding a bike, a scooter, a skateboard, or balancing on one foot. We feel light-headed or dizzy when this sense is not working well.
Interoception:
This sense describes how we feel inside our bodies. We can feel hunger, dizzy, a full bladder, pains, tingling, numbing sensations, tightness, heaviness, etc. The group discussed how they could feel different emotions in their bodies. One participant talked about feeling fear in the stomach area, another participant talked about feeling anxiety in the heart. The group discussed where they felt joy and happiness in the body, and they talked about a warm feeling in the chest.
Transformation with Ten Minutes of Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness helps us learn new ways to respond to strong emotions and negative thoughts. By practicing it regularly four to five times a week, changes can be seen gradually over time, usually two to three months of regular practice. Mindfulness helps us reduce depression and anxiety. Mindfulness practices enable us to understand our emotions and feelings and what negative thoughts or cognitive distortions are created from the emotions.
Mindfulness, when practiced four to five times a week over 2months will help change your attitude and reaction to distressing situations. This involves becoming patient and non-judgmental with yourself. It requires noticing, observing, and accepting thoughts, feelings, images, and sensations in a non-judgmental manner.
10 minutes of Mindfulness
In the first minute, do a body scan. Notice where you have tension in your body. Start at your head and move to your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, upper back, stomach, lower back, hips, upper legs, lower legs, and feet. Try to change your posture to relax those muscles and joints.
In minutes two through ten, do deep breathing from your diaphragm. Hold your breath for as long as you feel comfortable, and then release the breath and push the breath slowly out of your lungs, exhaling as much air as possible. Listen to calm music, or sounds, or your breathing.
Mindfulness practice is a form of meditation. Mindfulness can be done by sitting still or moving. You can do Yoga, Tai Chi, or a walking meditation. Prayer is a form of meditation. Slow yourself down. Slow your life down, and clear your mind, so that you can re-focus.
Daily actions and chores can be done mindfully if we learn to become present and observe what our body is doing, our thoughts, our feelings, and how our bodies react to them. We can choose how to react. We can re-direct our intense emotions, feelings, and negative thoughts. Try this while doing the dishes in the sink.
Observe your thoughts, feelings, images, and sensations during a mindfulness practice. Focus on the negative thoughts that affect how you feel grounded, safe, and secure. Observe and notice, acknowledge, and be non-judgmental about your thoughts or feelings while doing the mindfulness practice.
Describe your ideas: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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